i rant a little about some emergent christian lunacy or another...

     So, it seems we must learn to let go of Sunday worship. It's about freedom, it's about going with the flow of God's Spirit, it's about, well, I can't keep going like that because it makes me want to set my hair on fire.     
     Look, let's not waste time with bullshit - it's all about the Money. I'm a wanderer and a lazy bastard, gotta have my eggs benedict with scallops and a couple of mojitos of a Sunday kind of guy, but that's not a principled choice, it's not something anyone should imitate. So take it as written that I'm no shining example to the wider world of how to live. How do I know that? Well, I'll tell you.

     Is it only me who sees how blindingly obvious it is that Money needs us doing anything on Sunday but going to church and all that entails? You who want Community (whatever the hell that is), riddle me this - how would you like to have one day, just One. Freaking. Day., when everything is shut down and we worship the Lord of the Universe for our own good? Worship being, of course, that time out of time when He *serves us* and pardons us and gives us His Life so we might not be dead weight falling falling falling.... But you know all that. Might it also be meet and right that it be the Same Day for Everyone, so we're not atomized fragmented scattered to the winds? And how about it being the Eighth Day and all that archaic stuff the Fathers tried to teach narcissists like us, so Sunday it is? Why the f*ck do we want to mess with that?

     Money, that's why, and not our money, o no. I make a lot of money, but I don't make any of it on Sundays. I *spend* it on Sundays, spend it on those who make way, *way* more money than I'll ever see.

     Think Starbucks wants us to abandon them on Sunday? Love that New York Times Sunday Subscription? O, it's so cozy to sit around with our [insert insanely priced coffee drink] and read the different sections of the paper. Of course it is. You should get a gold watch from 'em when you turn 65, you're their best employee. 'But we spend Sunday with Family.' Good for you, blood and soil are the best really. Maybe you can watch sports, or talk about sports, or maybe there's a movie to see - hey, if we don't choose the HD version the price is lower. 

     But...but, we have to adapt, don't we? Yes, that's what we learn in every marketing program. This is how organizations survive. You think the Church is an organization, right? You're ambivalent about it, but that's the way it goes. Seminaries really do offer great Marketing Degrees I have to say.

     So, it comes down to the real Good News - batteries don't need rest, and they certainly don't need God. I, however, do need a mojito, but it's a working day. Some days I really do envy alcoholics.